On my way to yoga this morning I pulled over to capture an unreal sunrise. I literally opened my truck door, ran to "the spot" I like to capture pictures, allowed myself one shot and ran back to my truck. All the while, door open, heat on high and a smile on my face. When I arrived at yoga I saw some familiar faces, but truly was more than happy when there was a space in the back corner all by my lonesome. I just needed some me time and I was more than happy when the instructor announced the temperature was a 100 degree difference from outside to inside - I'll take it - I thought. I like yoga, I am learning to love it, but in all honesty I struggle being so close to others at times, but as they say, "focus on you" not the person next to you. I am learning that is all a part of the process; one year later, I am still #learningtoloveyoga and to be honest #learningtoloveme will be a lifelong journey.
Today, I had tears at yoga, thank goodness it was essentially hot yoga and they masked as sweat. The instructor, whom I adore by the way, said many things today, but at one point she said, "think of what you love the most in life" and there was zero hesitation, "Riley and Logan, my boys" came to mind, I could so clearly see them, hear them, and honestly I hugged them in my mind at yoga. Then minutes later she said, "ask yourself, how can you find more time to spend with the thing you love?" Oh dear, the flood gates opened. I have never been so relieved when she said at this point you can do a "four minute on your own flow" well, it was as if she knew that is just what I needed. Mind you, she does this every class, but it couldn't have been more timely. I needed four minutes to feel steady on my feet, dry my eyes, and four minutes to let the sweat "aka tears" roll down my face. She said nothing wrong, but it spoke to me, because my time is limited with them. I believe in my heart I do all I can to spend as much quality time with them as I can, but some of my time has been taken away and it's not selfish to say, it's honest, I would choose for every day to include them, every.single.day. Because, I deserve that, and so do they.
This afternoon we took a hike up the creek, through the woods, and it was just what my heart needed. Time with them, listening to them talk about the land, play tic tac toe in the snow and to just breathe in the fresh air. We truly have a little slice of paradise here on Stone Roller Road. (I won't lie I do like it more in the summer, but I captured some unreal winter pictures today too)
Even after a lot of tears today, the future looks bright my dear friends and family even if I have to dig us out of our home tomorrow and hide my face for a week to avoid frostbite. #theboysofSRR #myfuture #scrappinontheranch #momofboys #momsasprincipals
I'm busy working on my blog posts. Watch this space!