be. here. now.
On the average there are only 940 Saturdays from the time your child is born until they are eighteen - be present.
Being present means different things to everyone, to me it means being emotionally and physically present. This number hurts my heart more than you know because in my split family world that means 470, I have only half of the Saturdays with my boys and although there are days in which I still fixate on that I have to continue to take advantage of every Saturday, day and moment I have with them.
You cannot teach humans to be emotionally present, but as a parent you have an opportunity to model it. We also have a chance to do that in all of our relationships. I am guilty of not always being emotionally present in every relationship I have mostly because I give that side of myself all day long and when I come home from my days of being both physically and emotionally present all day, I will admit -I am tired. I know that is hard for those of you reading this who are close to me, because you know me as the one who keeps it all together - Mom. Educator. Entrepreneur, but I have my days too. This week was a tough one for me, I have had moments of wanting to "call out" the lack of emotional presence I have spent years watching happen followed by the desire to just be completely present without all of this weighing on my mind.
I have not slept well this week. I have felt angry, sad, overwhelmed, on the verge of tears, used, not respected, but I kept coming back to what I preach all day long, "you can only control you” and you have to “own who you are."
Through the roller coaster of feelings I have felt this week I do know I will continue to commit to being emotionally present for Riley and Logan because I know that is what need from me. I will continue to do the same for every human I encounter during my work day and I will apologize to the rest of you in my life who sometimes get "what's left" of me at the end of the day/week because emotionally/physically it's all I have left to give you.
So, are you emotionally and physically present in all aspects of your life? This number really made me reflect on my time with my children and was a great reminder of the importance of "authentic presence” in all relationships in your life. Yes, 470 Saturdays will go fast as I am through about half of that number already. I do remind myself there are many people who would give anything to be a parent who cannot, who have passed away and not seen their children grow, or have lost their children way too early - I am fortunate for the 470 Saturdays.
I may only have my little men physically in my presence fifty percent of their days, but emotionally those little men have one hundred percent of their mom’s presence every day.
"Wherever you are, be all there." -Jim Elliot-