Control. Character. Conflict.
"When a person attempts to control someone else's life, it only reflects the lack of control they have on their own." -Daniel Chidiac
I've started this blog many times. I have "post it" notes all over in my office, in my planners, and some thoughts just in my head, because far too often in the past six plus years this has been at the forefront of what has kept me from deciding to not locationally start over with my family. I keep telling myself, "you are dealing with individuals who have little to no control over their own lives, so they are consumed with their attempts to control your life."
When individuals choose to walk away from something; they need to do just that - walk away. That means walk away from what you had, own your decision and move on knowing it will always remain what you had. "Had" is exactly that; what you once had. There is a huge difference between what you have and what you had. And, in the midst of the huge difference between those two words comes jealousy, lack of control, and at times outright attempts of sabotage. This means you walk away from both the person and all tangible possessions which are no longer yours. Everyone makes mistakes, but to punish someone else for the mistakes/decisions you make/made is when it is time to take a long look in the mirror.
"Many people would be scared if they saw in the mirror, not their faces- but their character...."
And, many of you reading might be thinking if I have those individuals in my life write those individuals off, but some of those people you can't. Believe me, you want to do just that, but for different circumstances/reasons you can't. And, sadly it seems the more you work towards "bettering" yourself for your family the more you "pay" for it. The more you attempt to "write them off" as much as you can the more they attempt to sabotage you. And, sadly, I have come to the realization that individuals can become so consumed with you, you wonder how they are truly "present" in their own lives.
"There are some people who always seem angry and continuously look for conflict. Walk away; the battle they are fighting isn't with you, it is with themselves."
Sometimes the battle is daily, other times hourly, the hard thing is it constant in one way or another. I will not succumb to someone's unhappiness and anger. I will continue to be happy. I will continue to work hard. I will continue to give to others, support others and be present. I will not stoop to others' levels, because I know in the end this is not about me. Most importantly I will continue to be the mom my boys deserve and not allow anyone to make me feel that I am underserving; because I've worked for everything I have and not one thing has been handed or given to me.
If you are unhappy, please do your best to not make others suffer because of that. Please fix our own life. I will support you. It's hard, I get it, I have been there, but don't punish others. Also, stop looking for conflict, life is hard enough as it without individuals attempting to add more conflict. And, last if you choose to let go of someone, walk away and fully do so, because if you made that choice I can guarantee the "silver lining" of this walk is a blessing for the other person, but not if you spend your life trying to punish and control them. And, they have a life they'd like to attend to without your
interference and individuals in their life that deserve just that. Thank you.