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HoPeS and HuRtS

"Let your hopes, not your hurts, shape your future" Robert H. Schuller

What a whirlwind this week has been, the past couple of weeks for that matter. I have spent a lot of time with my boys and as I sat here tonight in our home I didn't know which foot to put forward, because I've had so much time with them......uninterrupted time, time to play, time to relax, time to just enjoy each other's company. I feel lost tonight. I miss my boys. I miss the laughter, making them dinner, going for walks, watching them in the lime pile, camping, going for bike rides........ simply..... I miss their presence.

I'm sure some of you reading this have experienced this, but it was a first for me....I went to sign my son's planner last night (my organized 10 year old) and he had 'M and D' listed on his nights. My 10 year old LABELED his planner with which house he was going to each night. Want your heart to break into pieces, want to physically hurt, want to be unable to "catch" your breath, there's your moment friends. I can't explain it, but I can tell you it hurts - both emotionally and physically.

I hurt, I don't talk about it a lot, as my hurt is hard for me to even put into words, but wow, with the hurt I do have so much hope for them.

I hope I am showing them what it means to live life, to work hard, to smile, to appreciate nature, to dream, to travel, to HUG, to love, to be proud of themselves, to own their mistakes...I could go on and on......they are my little people who by the way just started 2nd and 5th grade this week. Yes, the "cute twins" are off to another school year just three years apart in grades. R wins with 1/4 inch in height (the rock is helping L) 1/2 of a shoe size, but L the almost 8 year old, has him by a pound.

1,000 kids pass by me on a daily basis, those are my kids. If there is one thing I embrace in this life it is being a positive influence in the lives of others especially our youth; which obviously includes my own little men.

My hope is they will always know, no matter if their planner is labeled "M or D", that they are loved and hold their mom's heart.

And, what a neat year, the first year all three of us were captured looking over our ranch, dreaming our dreams, wearing our backpacks (L chose Mom's red one) instead of getting a "new" one..."Mom, you'll always be with me." Yes, this is the same kid who applied deodorant to his chin, but he 'gets' the important stuff.

I haven't blogged in awhile, I do see it has been almost a month, I have topics, I am not sure this was a topic, but it was the REAL me. I hurt........., but, I smile, I endure, I work hard, but mostly I focus more on HOPE than the HURTS because in the end every day is a gift and we must focus our energies on just that.

"Let your hopes, not your hurts, shape your future" Robert H. Schuller

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