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Confidence is silent. Insecurities are loud.

August 10, 2016

"Who does she think she is?  It appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is."  Brendon Burchard. 

 

Who am I?

 

Mom. Entrepreneur. Educator. Is that it?  No, of course it isn't. I have current roles, past roles and every role which plays a part into "who I am."  I am a sister, daughter, friend, co worker, colleague, cousin, aunt, ex wife, co parent, coach,and teacher (not an all inclusive list of course).  And under each of those are many subcategories, not limited to, but including: CEO of the household, Ms. Fix It, separation anxiety counselor, fort engineer, SRR safety patrol, finance manager, architect, engineer, groundskeeper, carpenter, promoter, leader, collaborator, nurturer, mediator...I'll stop there.  You get it.  We all play a lot of roles in our lives, we all have titles and honestly in writing this I realized how many I left off, how many I do without thinking about, and how many roles each one of you reading has and the enormous amount of "roles" I have not listed for all of us. 

 

The quote, "Who does she think she is?  It appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is," inspired this blog because of the needs of others to try and explain to me how I feel, what I should be doing, what has been handed to me, how nice it must be to be me, and some individuals overall fixation with what is happening in my life and my every move.  

 

I lived for many years so concerned with what others "thought" of me and it led to feelings of unhappiness, anxiety, depression, body image distortion, guilt, shame, and anger.  (it goes without saying, but I'll mention it, not an all inclusive list) When your words and actions are in line with being the best in your roles as possible and by best that doesn't mean never making mistakes, you finally realize "who" and "what" really matters. I want to be the best version of me for me, because if I am it directly impacts the relationships in each of my roles.  

 

"Unconcerned" does not mean I lack compassion and forgiveness.  It means I no longer give "space" for the feelings that others fixation and opinion of who I am and what I am doing matter.  It means I finally realized that I deserve better.  I am living in my true self, not the false self others believe me to be and the feelings I allowed that false self to feel.  

 

I am living in a single mom household- I am not ashamed of that.  I have failed relationships - again, not ashamed.  Those who know me, know I do not give up.  I own my mistakes. I work hard.  I don't like pats on the back.  I rarely ask for help, but I also do not want anyone to believe what I have was "given" to me.  In Jolene Danca's name: land deeds, car loans, mortgages, business loans, (without saying...not an all inclusive list) those are mine blog readers/friends and only mine.  This may seem like I am concerned with what others do think, but really I am concerned with the TRUTH of who I am and what I stand for. 

 

 

What I have been afforded with though is an opportunity.  An opportunity to be the best Mom, Entrepreneur & Educator. (and in every other role, simply said, I have the opportunity to be my best and do my best)  

 

It truly amazes me how consumed people become with others, when at the end of the day you only have control over you. I've been there;  I have been consumed, I have believed things about people I heard or perceived things based on what they did or their past.  If you are one of the individuals still stuck in "consumed" by others take the energy you are wasting on this and use it on bettering yourself in any/all of the roles you have in your life. Remember, confidence is silent.  Insecurities are loud.  

 

"Unconcerned" does not mean ...... mistakes are not made, hiccups in life will not occur, and overall worry about my kids, business, family/friends and future does not happen; but, through those issues, I am living in my true self, not the false self others may believe of me or continue to try to portray about me.  I am human.  I get tired. I get overwhelmed. I worry. I cry.  But what you will notice about me is my "unconcern" for the people who are not genuine, are selfish and who do not have their priorities in order- the individuals who are insecure with who they are and deep down are unhappy.  

 

And this my friends is why the quote I started the blog with was mentioned in the middle and will also end today's thoughts.....

 

 "Who does she think she is?  It appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is."  Brendon Burchard. 

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